Last week I talked about why you don’t have to do what you
should do. This week, I’m going to rattle on about those few times you should do them. It sounds quite contradictory and confusing, I know, but stick with me on this one. Let me explain with a personal story:
After feeling all amped up and amazing about life, I had a quick 180 and spiraled downward for a few days. Everything was fine, there was no reason for me to be upset or negative about anything, but I was.
Sometimes I just get that way. It’s a part of my anxiety and who I am as a person. It’s taken me a long time to acknowledge and attempt to understand this part of myself, but here I am and there it is. It creeps up on me every now and then, and when it does I need to jump into action.
Backstory: I’m one of those people who HATES exercise, working out, the gym, etc. If it’s too much effort and doesn’t fit into my life of ease concept, I’m not about it.
One of the first tools in my Recovery Toolbox is to get some exercise into my routine.
As Elle Woods says, “Exercise gives you endorphins, endorphins make you happy, happy people just don’t shoot their husbands!” Or, ya know, feel sad all the time. But, as we’ve previously established, I despise exercise, even on a good day. It’s one of those things I feel like and know I should do, but sometimes just can’t seem to get myself there.
This seems like an obvious example of ignoring the rule “don’t do what you feel like you
should do,” but I think that’s what makes it such a good one. Let’s dig deeper and figure out what makes this an exception to the rule.
If we pan out and take a look at the big picture, in the end, going to the gym is going to be good for me. It’s going to make me feel how I want to feel on a much larger scale. It’s basically a little bit of pain for a BIG, almost guaranteed gain. Of course, nothing in life in certain and just one gym session isn’t going to instantly make me feel better, but I’m willing to take the chance that overtime working out will improve my mood. I’m making an educated choice on the chance that it will get me closer to feeling how I want to feel.
Now, let’s take these same steps and apply them to a different situation. Sally feels like she should quit her job in lieu of a new offer she’s received. (It’s always tricky when it comes to jobs and careers.) There are a lot of things coming into play in this specific situation, but let’s look take a look anyways. The new offer is for a similar role at a new company with competitive salary and a contract. Sally is very unhappy at her current job, which is why she feels she should take this new job opportunity. However, if we look at the big picture, Sally will be doing a similar job in a similar atmosphere and now will be tied to this job due to the contract. Even though she’ll have a slightly higher salary, Sally will probably still be very unhappy at this new job. So should she really take this opportunity?
Take a look at some of the “should”s in your life. Now, look at them from a big picture perspective. Are there any clashes? Let me know what you deemed “should” or “shouldn’t” stay in your life in the comments below!